Anyone who grew up in the 90′s should be excited to hear that a reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise is now one step closer to hitting a theater near you. According to Deadline’s Mike Flemming, Paramount Studios has hired Mission: Impossible 4 writers Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec to write the film. Or, rather, rewrite the film. Paramount had originally tasked Iron Man writers Art Marum and Matt Holloway to do the deed, which they did, but apparently Paramount decided to go in a different direction. Exciting news, right?
Okay, so it’s really not. The fact that this project is being produced by Michael “I Hate Dinobots and Ruined Transformers 2″ Bay, combined with the fact that the studio can’t seem to get their shit together with the screenplay isn’t exactly encouraging. Which is a shame for many reasons. For one, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has a ready-made fan base who will gladly hand over their hard-earned cash in exchange for another chance to see their childhood heroes on the big screen. Also, there’s a shit ton (shit ton is a Metric unit of measure, I believe) of really, really awesome source material to work from. It’s not like we need a crack team of screen writers to figure out how to make a winner of the TMNT franchise. It already is. And finally, with the launch of a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle animated series scheduled for next year (to appear on Nickelodeon) and IDW relaunching the comic under the direction of TMNT creator Kevin Eastman, it seems as if Paramount is the only one who can’t figure out what to do with the Turtles.
Which, probably, comes back to the fact that Michael Bay is “leading” this project. Like Bleeding Cool’s Hannah Shaw Williams already lamented, “…when the next Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film rolls around I will be there in the cinema, gripping the cup holder for better or worse. And considering it’s being produced by Michael Bay, I have a terrible feeling it might be the latter.” Call it misplaced cynicism, but I have strong doubts about Michael Bay’s ability to produce something worthy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle legacy. It doesn’t help that the career highlight of the guys who are writing the film was Mission Impossible 4. They did some other stuff for television, too, but whatever. Michael Bay + Mission Impossible 4 Writers + Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film = Probably Fucked.
Anyway, now that I’m done pissing and moaning about what should have been happy, exciting news, I’ll leave you with your thoughts. What do you all think about these developments surrounding the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie? Let us know in the comments.