Rick Santorum Declares War on Porn

Rick Santorum - War on Porn

Rick Santorum isn’t going to be the next President of the United States.  Ever.  He won’t even be the Republican candidate for President.  Ever.  So, with both of those facts in mind, Rick Santorum has recently come out promising to launch an all out offensive against the porn industry.  In a recently updated section on his website, Santorum says that America is suffering a “pandemic” at the hands of porn and that it’s “a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.”  As such, Mr. Santorum goes on to say that as President, he would “vigorously” enforce current obscenity laws, working to rid the Internet and hotels of pornography.

To give a more accurate idea of where Rick Santorum stands on porn, here’s an excerpt from his website (the link has since been taken down)…

America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography.  A wealth of research is now available demonstrating that pornography causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to pornography is now common for adults and even for some children. The average age of first exposure to hard-core, Internet pornography is now 11. Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women.  It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.

Every family must now be concerned about the harm from pornography. As a parent, I am concerned about the widespread distribution of illegal obscene pornography and its profound effects on our culture.

I proudly support the efforts of the War on Illegal Pornography Coalition that has tirelessly fought to get federal obscenity laws enforced.  That coalition is composed of 120 national, state, and local groups, including Morality in Media, Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, American Family Association, Cornerstone Family Council of New Hampshire, Pennsylvania Family Institute, Concerned Women for America, The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, and a host of other groups.  Together we will prevail.

Rick Santorum - Supporter of Rape

First of all, I find it absolutely hilarious that Rick Santorum could, in any seriousness, end a rant with the phrase, “Together we will prevail.”  The truth of the matter is that Rick Santorum is an absolute failure.  Everything he touches turns to shit.  In 2006, he lost his Senate seat in the biggest lopsided defeat in the history of Pennsylvania politics.  His presidential campaign is underfunded, lacking support from anyone except crazy Bible redneck hate mongers.  And for anyone who’s ever heard his wife talk, you realize that he’s married to an absolute moron.  Hell, even his kids are ugly.  So for Santorum to gloat about being victorious in anything is a joke.

I’m not going to ask you to not vote for Rick Santorum in this, or any other, election.  The truth is that if you’re reading this website, you’re probably not anywhere near Santorum’s target demographic (mindless uber-conservative sheep) and wouldn’t be voting for him anyway.  And, if you are a supporter of his, nothing I could say or write would change that anyway.  So I’m not posting this to try and keep Rick Santorum out of office.  Seeing as how his radical positions on everything from women’s reproductive rights to referring to gay sex as “bestiality” have alienated the better part of the educated world, Rick Santorum doesn’t need my help in losing every election he participates in for the rest of his life.

Rick Santorum and his Ugly Family

Rick Santorum and his Horrifically Ugly and Stupid Family

I’m not even going to make fun of Rick Santorum’s “war on porn.”  Declaring war on porn is like declaring war on gravity.  People enjoy pornography and, even if Rick Santorum doesn’t like it, the porn industry will continue to exist in some form or another.  Coming out and trying to rally the troops by calling for a renewed opposition to porn is a desperation tactic.  People are concerned about the economy, the war in Afghanistan, rising gas prices, and healthcare.  They are not concerned about shutting down the porn industry.  At all.  Not even a little bit.  Seriously, speaking out against the “evils” of porn is one step away from gushing about how pretty unicorns are.

So here’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to go buy some porn (please don’t pirate porn, click HERE to get an idea of what’s spending money on).  Then I’m going donate $10 to Planned Parenthood.  Finally, I’m going to sit down and enjoy the shit out of some really violent and lowbrow movies.  What I’m not going to do, ever, is give a shit about what Rick Santorum and his idiot squad is currently on the warpath about.  I suggest you do the same.  Fuck Rick Santorum.  God bless America and God bless hardcore porn.