Piers Morgan to Condoleezza Rice: Make Me Dinner, You Unmarried Bitch

Piers Morgan, the British ass-wipe who’s replaced Larry King on CNN, has found himself looking quite like a pompous, sexist, douchebag.  In a recent interview, Piers Morgan drills Dr. Rice on such important issues as, “Why aren’t you married,” “What would you cook me for dinner,” and “Are you high maintenance?” Now that’s some high-level, intelligent journalism, there.

I don’t know what Piers Morgan was trying to accomplish with these questions.  I don’t know if he thought he was being clever, funny, or was just trying to be a big enough asshole that he might get some attention in the press.  However, what I do know is that Piers Morgan isn’t qualified or accomplished enough to wipe Condoleezza Rice’s ass, let alone interview her.

Let’s review the resumes here, for a second.  First, let’s look at what Piers Morgan has accomplished with his life…

• Has edited various newspapers in the UK.  Gained a reputation as a pompous asshole and controversial egomaniac.  The subject of several investigations and forced to make several apologies for inappropriate headlines.
• Made fun of President George W. Bush for falling off of a Segway.  Piers Morgan then was taped falling off a Segway and breaking three ribs in the process.
• Host of BBC’s The Importance of Being Famous series
• Judge on reality talent show America’s Got Talent
  
• Host of CNN’s Piers Morgan Tonight, the replacement show for Larry King Live

Now, to compare, let’s look at Condoleezza Rice’s resume…

• BA in Political Science from University of Denver
• Master’s Degree in Political Science from University of Notre Dame
• PhD in Political Science from University of Denver
• Professor; Political Science at University of Denver and Stanford University
• Board Member; Transamerican Corporation, Carnegie Corporation, Charles Schwab, Chevron, The Rand Corporation and Hewlett-Packard
• Provost; Stanford University
• Accomplished and highly regarded pianist, having performed at Carnegie Hall and in front of Queen Elizabeth II of England
• Special Assistant to the Joint Chiefs of Staff
• Member of the National Security Council
• United States National Security Adviser to the President
• United States Secretary of State

Everyone’s talking about why Condoleeza Rice didn’t tell Piers Morgan to shut the fuck up or slap his ignorant ass or just walk off the set. Me, I’m wondering how she was able to not laugh in his face.  Piers Morgan is a sad, pathetic piece of shit who hasn’t accomplished anything.  He’s most famous for being a dick on some reality show that no one cared about.  Condoleeza Rice accomplished more before breakfast on a random Tuesday than Piers Morgan would be able to accomplish in his entire life.  This woman has gone toe-to-toe with dictators and helped lead a war against one of the most powerful and feared terrorist networks in the world.  Piers Morgan spends his free time sniffing his own farts.

Bottom line: Piers Morgan is a sexist little idiot.  He’s not smart.  He’s not funny.  No one cares about his dumb ass show.  Condoleezza Rice, regardless of what you might think of her political views or affiliations, will go down in history as one of the most accomplished women in the 21st Century.  When Piers Morgan loses this job, and he will (probably in the very near future), maybe Condoleezza will take pity on his stupid ass and hire him as her sandwich maker.

Last updated by Dan C. on April 8, 2012.