Michael Bay: Ninja Turtles Will Be Lovable Aliens

Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly hate superstar director Michael Bay any more than you already do, the man has gone and made it clear that he has every intention of fucking up the Ninja Turtles.  Bay, who’s producing the live live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, announced to a Nickelodeon audience that in his movie, the Ninja Turtles will be “from an alien race.”  Apparently, he missed the part about them being Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles, not space ninjas.  Insert face palm here.

Because seeing is believing, here’s the video of evidence of Michael Bay proudly telling everyone about his alien Ninja Turtles…

And, just to make crystal clear what he said, here’s the verbatum…

When you see this movie, kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist, when we’re done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.

From the moment it was announced that Michael Bay would be producing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, everyone held their breath, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t try and go “improving” upon them like he did, repeatedly and with detrimental effect, with Transformers.  And, right on cue, he goes and disappoints everyone.  Why does Michael Bay thinks he can and should have to rework everything?  There was nothing wrong with the origin of the Ninja Turtles and the franchise already has a massive, ready-built fan base.  All he had to do was not fuck it up.  And, as has become his trademark, Michael Bay has demonstrated that he is incapable of not systematically destroying good things in his fumbling attempt to make them into what he believes they should be.

If there is a god or karma or anything resembling cosmic justice, Michael Bay will be shotgunned in the face as punishment for wanting to make the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into aliens.